Blog for
Chris Lauzon - Therapist, LICSW

When people walk into a therapy room, it’s often in response to something urgent, an emotional crisis, a relationship breakdown, burnout, or a significant drop in their overall functioning. It’s natural. Pain is a powerful motivator. But while we spend so much time focusing on how to tread water when we’re drowning, we often forget that true, sustainable growth happens not during the chaos, but during the calm. Let’s call that calm your baseline.

Picture this: an old crosscut hand saw, lying on its back. The flat spine rests against the table, and the jagged edge, the teeth, points upward at an angle. Imagine tracing your finger along those teeth from one end of the saw to the other. It's not a smooth line. It's not soft or easy. It's jagged. Sharp. Uneven. Yet undeniably, the motion is angled up. This, in many ways, is the visual metaphor of our journey through mental health and well-being.

When we’re in the grip of a crisis response (what many call a panic attack) our system goes into full alert. Heart racing. Breathing shallow. Skin tingling or sweating. Thoughts flying. Judgments stacking. It can feel like the world is closing in, or that we’re about to lose control entirely. But beneath all of this is a simple truth: We are reacting to a perceived threat.

Let’s talk about the very fine line between “loving someone well” and “loving someone out of fear.” It’s a line that gets crossed more often than we realize, sometimes in the name of care, sometimes in the name of connection, and often without us noticing until tension begins to rise or space becomes scarce. If you’ve ever felt smothered in a relationship, or just as importantly, recognized you might be the one doing the smothering—you’re not alone. And it’s worth unpacking.

We’ve all done it... Scanned cheap flight deals, fantasized about a beach getaway, a mountain escape, or even a cozy staycation filled with naps and novels, only to immediately shut the browser tab and sigh, “Ugh, I can’t afford it.” But before you exile your desires to the land of "maybe next year," it’s time to grab your most powerful planning tool: self-awareness.

Online Dating: Fish With A Line, Not A Net: If you’ve spent any time on dating apps, you know the feeling: an endless scroll of profiles, hollow conversations that go nowhere, and a nagging sense that maybe, just maybe, you’re going about it all wrong. Let’s talk about a different way to date online, a way that feels less like you're trawling the ocean for anything that bites, and more like casting a line, patiently, intentionally, for what you actually want.

What if your future self could send you a message today? Not a warning, not a regret—but a vision. A clear, inspiring glimpse into the life you could be living. What would it say? What would it show? This is where the Tool of Self-Awareness becomes invaluable—not just for reflection, but for transformation. When you pair it with a powerful visualization known as The 2 Dimensional Postcard, you tap into your deepest truths to map out a future worth striving toward.

Somewhere along the road of growing up, many of us absorbed a lie: that life is a pass or fail test. You're either doing it right, or you're doing it wrong. Success or failure. Approval or rejection. We internalize this binary thinking early—at home, at school, in relationships—and it follows us quietly into adulthood like a shadow. But the truth is: real life happens in the gray. And that’s where the grace is.

When we think about conflict in relationships, we often imagine explosive arguments or long-standing feuds. But what can be just as damaging (though far more subtle) is conflict avoidance. That creeping tension that builds up when couples sidestep tough conversations, suppress small annoyances, or habitually say “I don’t care” to avoid disagreement. Over time, this kind of emotional evasion can erode connection, breed resentment, and spark fights over seemingly trivial things

In my work as a therapist, I often describe our Tool of Self Awareness as one of the most powerful tools in our emotional toolkit. It’s the flashlight we shine inward to identify what’s truly going on inside us—our needs, our desires, our feelings, and our emotional patterns. But becoming aware is only half the journey. The other half—perhaps the more courageous part—is learning how to share what we discover with others. That’s where there is value in vulnerability.

There’s a significant difference between acting confident and with a persona and genuinely feeling confident. Often, we’re taught to “fake it ‘til you make it,” adopting a confident persona in the hope that the feeling will eventually follow. While this method can be a helpful starting point, it can also create a disconnect between our outward behavior and inner emotional state.

As we explore the presence or potential presence for “Expectation and Obligation” in our lives, use the Tool of Invitation.

When individuals are caught off guard, feeling back into a corner, they are very unlikely to actively listen or participate with sincerity.

Team ADHD, card-carrying member. There is nothing more frustrating than the past for me; I am a "Team ADHD" card-carrying member. “You...

Consider the presence of internal dialogue, self deprecation, and cognitive distortion as opportunities to learn and grow.

The repetitive and monotonous airplane directives from your friendly flight attendant instructing you to place your oxygen mask on your face

10 to 15 minutes daily, with review of your process after 2 weeks of Notation, Processing, and Actioning, to see if it works for you.

Recognize unintentional isolation utilizing The Tool of Self Awareness. Utilize this recognition to meet your needs and experience growth.

Action and Inaction can both occur with or without intention. Recognize Old Mental Muscle surfacing in the form of Speculation of Outcome.